Can't Get It Out of My Head

So chapter 21 of Secret is up:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4573256/21/

I can't believe it's been so long since I've written a blog. I only really see the point in writing one when there's something really important to discuss, and I think last chapter spoke for itself.

I know I didn't get to reply to everyone's reviews and I apologize. I had a lot of schoolwork and the response last chapter gave me the largest amount of reviews per chapter I've ever received. I'm going to try and answer your questions in review replies as often as I can, but if I don't reply anymore..forgive me. It's overwhelming...just know I read all of your reviews and they're tremendously appreciated!



I guess we'll start at the beginning and work our way through...

This chapter is important on two different levels. First, is the SWATward aspect, and obviously, second, would be his relationship with Bella.

It won't make much sense until very soon, but the ominous final sentence in Edward's POV (right before the page break) has a lot of forewarning to it. Obviously the inclusion of the one-shot is a given, but there are many more things you guys will be hit with during this story.

I get asked a lot if I'm going to continue the story past the one-shot, and I'd just like to make it clear that I am. I have at least a month's worth of B/E storytelling after the one-shot to write. How many chapters it will translate into is yet to be seen. But no fear...the one-shot, as romantic as it is, is not the happily ever after.

I know some readers are also getting antsy about the pacing of the story. I know it's torturous and I don't blame you for wanting to drop the story and move on to something else (I might do the same thing if I was a reader), but I do think there is a certain merit in the one-shot that can only really be appreciated if things happen slowly. And to a degree, I also deserve a little more credit. I've skipped over, and will be taking out, more things than you can imagine to speed up the progress. By next chapter we will be finally in January - the new year - and three months away from the one-shot.

Also while reading through, I was concerned some readers might misinterpret Bella's honesty as well. In past chapters she's been rightfully accused of testing Edward too much and torturing him, but in this chapter there's a change. Her comments and whispers aren't to further torture Edward, it's to make it clear that she's feeling a certain way towards him. The change can be found in one sentence and don't hurt yourselves trying to figure it out. It's painfully obvious. When we read her POV - which I won't tell you when it is arriving - it'll become more clear that the shift is out of love...not out of a sadistic need to torture a man who is hopelessly in love.

The dream sequence is really important too but you won't figure out why until next chapter. I really, really beg of you to listen to the chapter song. It's beautiful and fits with the scene perfectly. It helped inspire me to write it actually. I'll come back to this chapter's dream sequence next chapter.

Another thing that I need to mention, is that the charms from Bella's bracelet are now online. If you navigate over to the right, and browse through my links there is one titled Bella Swan. It's a general character set that gives a little insight into her as a person. I must stress though that two things in the set are off. The "diamond" charm isn't represented (I couldn't find a nice one), and her ring is supposed to have two smaller diamonds on either side of the heart. Otherwise, all the charms are there. If you'd like to check out Edward's character set it's listed as Edward Masen.

I know this blog was a little rushed but I hope if you have anymore questions you'll leave them in a review or PM.

As always, thanks for reading!

Get Up

Secret got updated:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4573256/18/

I know this blog came very late but I just didn't have much of a chance to sit down and let everything pour out.

First: the mystery man in the gym

My lips are sealed. You'll learn more about him later. More towards the end of the story.

Second: the engagement.

The scene where Edward realizes Bella's engaged requires a certain level of perception. If you need to go back and reread it, I advise you to. Throughout the entire scene Edward sort of mentions how Bella seems disappointed, or like she wants him to say something, or do something.

She does.

As I discussed with one reader, Bella's life is a struggle between what is right and what she wants right now. Her weekend away with Jacob was enough for her to know this thing with Edward isn't as small as she wanted it to be. She's got real feelings for him and they're perpetuated by Edward's behavior. She knows Edward feels something for her too but she's not always sure of it. Edward is constantly hot & cold with Bella.

Yet at the same time, she's loved Jacob for a long time. She feels compelled to say yes. Think about how hard it would be to see this man you've come to love - and thought you'd spend the rest of your life with - one his knee, asking you to marry him. It would be hard to say no.

That's what the entire scene in the office is about. Bella is silently pleading with Edward to tell her no. To tell her not to get married to Jacob. To tell her she can count on him, and that he really does love her. She needs Edward to intervene and make it clear that he wants her.

Clearly he doesn't. And that's the reason behind her disappointment and sadness.

If you remember from the one-shot...Bella is not the one who's unsure.

"Edward Masen don’t you dare apologize! I kissed you! Why do you do this to
yourself? Who cares about Charlie and your job? I love you and I’m sick of
pretending I don’t care!"

She recognizes Edward's self-denial after a while. Of course now she's not completely sure, but as time progresses she'll notice it more.

Third: the elevator scene with Charlie.

Now, I know I don't have to quote the one-shot for you guys to know why that scene is important. It's just one of the first instances where Charlie expresses his aversion to Bella dating an officer. More scenes like this will add to Edward's convoluted self-concept during the one-shot.

Fourth: Wallace getting his ass beat.

I personally love this part of the chapter. I got to explore another side of Edward. During that scene he's not Edward...he's Lieutenant-Detective Masen. And I have to admit I was somewhat overwhelmed and frightened of him during that scene but I was also turned on ;) As I told numerous readers: baseball bats, sarcasm, and shoulder-holsters do nothing for my already overactive imaginaton.

I know some readers were concerned that at any point he might cross the line but you have to understand something about our Copward. The man is determined. As mentioned during the chapter, he's hoping to be promoted to Captain one day. Edward would never put that goal in jeopardy and he knows his limits. Everything about him when he's in officer-mode is about careful calculation. His moves are unconciously measured and analyzed. His gun had the safety on!

You never have to worry about our Copward going overboard. Well unless Bella gets into trouble...

Speaking of which, I may do an outtake of her POV during the engagement and the office scene. If I post it, it'll be underneath the Secret Sideshots, Outtakes, and More story. I'll keep you guys posted on whether or not I do.

Oh and this is another tangent but I wanted to thank you all for being so gracious last chapter. I couldn't think of anyone really that actually liked the engagement but everyone was so nice about it. Everyone remembered the one-shot and stayed optimistic. You all have no idea how much it means to me to have your positivity and support. I really love you all for being so great. You guys are the best readers/fans out there! End. Of. Story. ;)

I know I haven't done this before but I'd like to recommend a story as well. It's Namariel's Sin City. It's a Twilight/Sin City crossover. If you like my Copward and action you'll love her story:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4877388/1/Sin_City

Read and review. It's great!

Oh and the code for my Twilighted readers that want a little Secret siggie:

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