Prelude for Piano

So Chapter 12 of Secret is up now as I'm sure you all know.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4573256/12/

This chapter was a challenge for me - probably an even greater challenge than anything I've written in this story yet. It was a struggle to really get the tone correct. Don't get me wrong, I've been to my share of funerals and known people who have passed but the emotions are so much more palpable when it's more personal and they're feelings that are more relevant. I, thankfully, haven't been to any funerals for about 3 years now. So I was really trying to remember as best as I could how I felt in that moment. I really needed Edward's pain and realization to be realistic and relatable. I needed it to feel like something you know you've felt if you have ever had someone close to you die, especially so suddenly.

I know some people will be upset about Vanessa's disturbing death as well. You'll have to understand that I had a plan for this story before I began writing it. It bothered me to write her death as much as I'm sure it bothered some readers. I didn't expect to become almost attached to this original character. I'm also a stickler about staying in the lines and what I mean by this is that I didn't want to change my intent for the story and characters just because I felt bad for Vanessa. My plan was this dramatic chain of events and I feel I need to stick to it to write the incredible story I have in mind.

I needed something truly mind-blowing to break Edward's character down to the point of no return. It's almost comparable to what they do to men/women in the Navy, Army, Marines etc. They break these young men/women down to the point of no return to turn them into the strong men who fight for our country. I needed to break Edward down emotionally to turn him into the man who falls in love with Bella and eventually changes completely. It's not just enough to love her and for that to inspire his change.

Another big thing that happened with Edward was his revelation of Bella's identity. I know many readers will breathe a sigh of relief with this. I really needed to wait until this point because the intent was for Edward to be angry with Bella when he found out the truth. It would never have affected him as much if he didn't trust her completely and swear she was the most honest person ever. The whole reason why he's so upset is because he would swear to anyone she was a truly honest person, which to a certain degree she is. We all speak our half-truths and spit lies but Bella really is an inherently good person. I needed it to be this way.

This next chapter will probably take off from where I finished. The confrontation with Edward and Bella about her identity should take place soon. The nice thing about her identity being revealed is that now I can write Bella instead of always reminding myself to type Isabella ;)

Thank you to anyone who's read this or reviewed. I love that I get to share something so personal and something I'm so proud of with you.

First Post

This is my first post obviously.

At this time I'm still working on my next chapter of Secret but it's still not done yet. One more major plot-related thing needs to take place before I can finish it off and do re-reading for any major errors and then it can be posted. I'm really nervous yet excited about this one. Two very different and major things happen so I'm anxious to see what the response will be to both. At this point I can safely say it'll be a cliffhanger but I just can't seem to stay away from them these days so it's not much of a surprise ;)

I've also been informed by my dear friend Steph that Secret has been getting some exposure and shout-outs lately which is incredible. I have a decent response currently but I feel like this story is just too special for other readers to be missing out. I think Steph can vouch for me that it will be like nothing you've ever read and the surprises will just be phenomenal. There's a lot of premeditation and strict plot-rules to follow in writing Secret. Writing that one-shot back in the summer did many wonderful yet frustrating things.

Scenes where (Isa)Bella and Edward would be more affectionate just cannot take place due to the unconscious rules I set-up for myself in the one-shot. It's a challenge but in a way I think it's good. It's good for me as a writer. I've never ventured out like this in my writing and it has only benefited me. With A New Sensation there's not much of a plot or complexity, it's just a fun fluff story, but with Secret I really have dive deep in Edward's convoluted and complex inner-workings. I think I've really found that I'm better at writing his POV than Bella's even. Bella just feels too easy to write at times. I'm considering doing another strictly EPOV story after I finish Secret up. We'll just have to see how it goes...

Happy readings!